Marriage & Couples - Lesson Two
The Harmonious Marriage
You may need your Bible and a pen & notebook to complete these lessons. You should be able to copy and paste these outlines to your word processor and print them without difficulty if you so desire. We recommend you record in your note book deep thoughts or questions that may arise as you study, and certainly record all things God reveals to your heart. Look over these notes frequently and use them even as you pray. God will cause you to grow in wisdom and understanding. Keep your note book with you throughout the day as much
as possible to record all God reveals to you and to review the things you have learned.
We also recommend you make a habit of memorizing a scripture each week. This not only helps get the Word deep in your heart, but is also an excellent mental exercise.
The Harmonious Marriage
A house filled with peace and harmony is a home filled with love. It is one of God’s greatest blessings. It is also a condition which can easily erode if we don’t make the decision to nurture our marriage.
“Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worth, precious, of great price and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous”. Hebrews 13:4 Amplified Bible
Contentions and selfish behavior can often creep into a relationship when a couple ceases to see their marriage as a precious thing. If left unchecked strife is where it’s heading, so lets be sure to do this one thing right, and this is one of Dan’s THREE THINGS he claims are a must!
1. Determine that both of you are committed to the marriage.
Being committed to each other is one thing, but to the marriage is quite another.
* Commitment to one another can wane if one is dealing with issues, or a mate is unfaithful, because of the extreme hurt this can cause; but when committed to the marriage, there is no anger toward the marriage. It is not guilty of causing hurt, and therefore one can work things through, staying devoted to the marriage covenant, long enough to regain trust and get past hurts, ultimately seeing Gods blessing increase and true changes take place in both of you.
We have to learn from God’s Word how to live harmoniously with our spouse. If we aren’t BOTH doing what it takes to live in harmony, then we are choosing to live in the dangerous arena of strife, whether we like it or not.
As for Suzann and I, there is NO D word in our marriage. Divorce is NOT AN OPTION for us. We are determined that regardless of what life throws at us, we will FIGHT AGAINST IT TOGETHER!!! And really guys, quite frankly, I’d rather die than do something that would hurt this beautiful girl, who is my best friend in the world.
Strife is deadly. It opens the door for the devil to steal, kill and destroy our home life. We are told in scripture to give the devil no place. Let’s stand up to him in every little detail when it comes to our home.
* Don’t allow yourself to be lazy concerning those things in your life that you know need to change. This leads us to the most important of the 3 things Dan feels to share and that is;
2. God HAS TO BE the #1 priority of your life everyday.
- This is how you can truly sand off the rough edges in your life and become the person God wants you to be and your spouse deserves.
If you are easily irritated, than decide that you and God are going to change this, starting today. It is possible to change a habit, a tendency, or even mannerisms that you may have carried for a lifetime. With God all things are possible, and the best way to bring about change is from the inside out. I have learned God’s Word is where to run to find remedy over every issue in life.
Strife feeds on our own selfishness. Unfortunately we often remain selfish easier with those that are dearest to us. We trust them, and we let our hair down, so to speak, and often act a little less thoughtfully than we would with others. This is not healthy. All of us can work on this. We can often find ourselves behaving nicer around friends and acquaintances than around our own family. This leads me to item #3 of my three things I promised I would share.
3. BE NICE!
It is so easy to act grouchy or rude when we are tired, upset or stressed, but that NEVER makes it ok. The greatest thing I learned from God in regards to relationship is to be nice. Guys often wondered how I got and kept such a sweet lady. Making her happy is really how. There is a lot more to that statement than I can cover here, but we all have heard the old saying, “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.
You may find yourself sometimes bursting out with hurtful words spoken in anger. It is often the case that we can sometimes say things to our spouse or children that we wouldn’t dare say to anyone else. This can set us up for a strife-ridden home life.
Disagreement happens in every relationship, but what’s important is to avoid strife instead of trying to justify our opinions. Sometimes it is better to agree to disagree and leave it at that.
How can we really stop strife dead in it’s tracks? We do so by going to the Word of God to seek His wisdom in settling disputes. Wisdom from above is peace, loving and easily entreated, willing to yield to reason.
Run to the Word. (Just as point 3 recommends) If you both aren’t “Word people”, which one of you are relying on your own wisdom regarding relationships rather than Gods? FIX THAT TODAY! Become a person that seeks God continually, than His continual presence will guide and direct your EVERY path. God in your home, not just at prayer time, but all the time, is our greatest asset.
A husband and wife may see some things differently, but if both are committed to the Word, strife can’t exist. If each walk in love and give the Word of God first place in their life (instead of selfishness), satan will be unable to get foothold to bring disharmony or division. Allowing Gods Word to always be final authority in settling disagreements will take the pressure off everybody. Behave, and make adjustments as God says to and harmony is quickly restored in the home.
Be quick to apologize and ask forgiveness when you have acted out in strife toward your spouse or your child. Even when you think you were justified in your opinion, harmony and peace are preferable to your “being right”.
A husband and wife team are a powerful instrument in the hand of God. Where agreement is, they can pray anything and have it come to pass. (see Matthew 18:19)
Don’t give strife an inch. The devil would love to rob you of Matthew 18:19, but don’t let him. The second you sense strife trying to come in, strop it immediately with the name of Jesus.
Walking as doers of God’s Word in our marriage is THE KEY to a happy, loving home.
School Of Faith with Dan & Suzann Marriage &Couples - 2